I've had some trials and tribulations in my life. Lately, I've been feeling down and so have been dwelling on those. I don't know why I've been feeling down, I can't quite explain it. I've just been worn out and getting bogged down. But because of such I'm focusing on the bad things going on. They might not be as bad as some, and they may be worse than others. That's not what's important. That I've had these experiences and they've helped temper me into I am today is important, but that's also not the point of this entry. The point of this entry is: "I have done some awesome things so far." Also that I can only grow and move upward from this point. So that's what I need to focus on: the things I've done, the abilities I have, and the opportunities I've taken advantage of.
The rest of this probably won't be organized. Just a stream of events and gifts in my life that I'm thankful for that I can come back to and reflect on and maybe improve my mood. I'm a musician and music has brought me a lot of peace in my life and lots of opportunities. I've toured all of the States as well as Canada and it took me to Japan the first time. I've been part of standing ovations from audiences of ten thousand. Performed over 500 times in several states. Play several instruments. Conducted a pep-band for dozens of collegiate basketball and volleyball games. When I was younger I auditioned into various state-wide groups and spent hours sitting in practice rooms escaping with composers who can write far better than I can ever understand. I've performed opera, symphonic works, major choral works, and even to funk tunes. I've performed with at least three instruments and with voice. I have an appreciation and an understanding of an Art form that graciously has been part of my life for at least twelve years, not counting church choir as a child. I'm very lucky to have music.
Music took me to Canada and Japan. I have also spent a summer in New Market, England. Different cultures have also been a passion. I've had the chance to travel. I've spent plenty of time in Tokyo. An amazing city. I've wandered by myself, aimlessly, thru several parts of the city striking up conversations and finding hidden and ancient temples. Nooks and hole in the wall ramen shops and sushi restaurants. In England I lived in the horse race capital of the world. Parties in gardens. Tea in the House of Commons. A play in the Shakespeare Globe. Viewed Monet's in the Tate Modern. Toured castles. Learned how to play rugby. Watched football (soccer) in a real British pub. Canada was well. . . beautiful. The mountains and air were so clear they looked fake. I meet people and overhear conversations that they have never left California. I just do not understand that. I love California. We have all but one climate zone. There's a drastic difference of scenery and culture that one can experience without even having to cross state lines. On the other hand where in California can one look at World War II remnants or shrines that are more than four times older than our country; a shrine that old, buried in the middle of skyscrapers built in the last ten years. Sweet potato carts. A dress that could have been out of C. S. Lewis' childhood. The Millennium Bridge. Old men photographing birds in all seasons. Teens dressed in homemade outfits sitting on a bridge in good weather. I've been able to see all these things. There is plenty more I want to see but so far I've seen so much. So much that has made me smile in wonder.
I can converse in, counting English, four languages. This isn't counting being able to greet and thank the Korean shop owner, nor yelling a Swahili war cry while taking a shot to a man from Congo, nor a number of other random phrases that pop up from time to time. I mean asking questions, responding, holding simple conversations, being able to help a stranger. I can do that. I have the ability to converse with people from more than four cultures. People aren't all blessed with the command of languages. I love them. They're a gift. They're something I can dive into and play with and use as a tool. I can sign across the room and have a silent, private conversation interrupted by laughter. Another three are in my immediate sights. Followed by whole only knows. Tolkien was a master of so many languages. That passion is one I share and a joy that am truly thankful for.
My family is truly unique. Two West Point graduates who went Ranger. My grandfather was a West Point graduate. He also had a petroleum management degree and helped build the Alaskan and Saudi Arabian pipe lines. He and my grandmother have lived in nearly thirty countries across almost all the continents. Paramedic cousin. Hot, firefighter cousin. Uncle who owns a Caribbean island. Aunt working directly with the leading wellness doctor in the country. Who also I guess lived in Alaska fire rockets into the Aurora Borealis to study its effects. Law enforcement agent dad. A sister who sacrificed so much for everyone else. A family that has a legacy already and drives me to constantly grow and improve.
I've had the opportunity to go to college. I've adopted a dog. I've met the leading drag queens of Southern California. I'm friends with professional singers, actors, dancers. I've eaten with nationally awarded dancers. Personal trainers of tv stars. These people I can text or call if I need to. People who if I needed a favor I could probably call in a favor if it was drastic. I sustain a comfortable lifestyle on my own and keep my dog active and fed. I've never needed braces. I don't need glasses. I have the ability to keep in shape and stay that way.
I feel like I'm boasting about myself. And some people think I'm doing just that and enjoying it. Those who truly know me know that I actually have a really poor self esteem. I'm writing this to focus on the things in my life that are very positive. Things that remind me that there isn't a reason to be negative or feel down. To get in slumps. There is no reason for that. I have the ability to get out of any situation. To grow and to problem solve thru trials. To get myself into and out of trouble. Charm. Charisma. Bull-shitery. Advanced Faggotry. These are a start to grow on. I need to grow, improve, and top all of these experiences. I think that all makes sense. I don't know. I need more sleep I think.
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