Heh. . . oops.

I am a big fan of languages.  They're basically a huge game to me.  'Gotta catch them all' type complex.  Especially Japanese with all the kanji.  Love.  Even if its a few phrases, greetings, pick-up line, you know, whatever.  Its not to often that I get to use many of them (except Spanish of course).  Well, I had a couple dumb moments last night that I thought were pretty funny.

The bar I work at is pretty close to a deaf school. . . hearing impaired school?. . . you know I mean.  Well, from time to time we get patrons who only communicate thru sign or writing.  Last night one came in and asked for a pen.  Well, I got excited and started signing to him asking him what he wanted.  Granted I've never actually taken a class or anything, but the language fascinates me seeing as its like interpretive dance talking. . . with your hands!  Here's the first funny part.: after learning the sign for 'bottle' I go over to a bartender and let him know,
"When you have a chance, the deaf guy wants a BudLite bottle."
"Which one?"
"The deaf one. . . oh, the guy in the white shirt. . ."

Yeah, as if he was wearing a sign or something.  Oh man.  Not only that, a little later he was asking me if a guy was straight or not.  Well, I got confused because I forgot the sign for 'straight' which is rather close to the sign for 'bitch'.  Yeah. . . Hah!  Hilarity ensues.  It was a good night.  Also learned the sign for 'drunk'.  Its fun people watching with someone who uses a different language than everyone else.

Maybe I'm just used to Americans, but I find that, not always, but being able to speak in someone's language is taken for granted.  My experience in Japan this isn't true, generally any Japanese you'd try to use was warmly received and usually with a lot of excitement.  Here though. . . I find if you can't communicate in Spanish well. . . that's a whole other blog.  One afternoon, it was pouring rain and I had walked to the local Russian delicatessen which I greeted the owner in Russian with a "Lord have mercy" and she merely chuckled, repeated it and asked if I was dining in or taking out.  Didn't skip a beat or anything.  As if random young men always come in greeting her in Russian.  Who knows, maybe they do.

Though one time I got to use the three Swahili phrases I know booked quite a reaction.  I learned a few phrases from a missionary kid friend from college and one year while getting ready for Halloween at a bar I got to use them.  It was my friend, the bartender and an individual with a thick accent.  After asking where he was from so I wouldn't look like an ass I waited for the perfect opportunity.  Before a shot or something I yelled out: "tembo yango ni kali" (if there's a reader(s) out there who knows how to spell this correctly, I apologize) at which the individual's face contorted to some priceless expression.
"Do you know what you just said?"
"Yeah"
"Really?!" (this all in his thick African accent mind you)
"Yeah, 'my war elephant is fierce'"
And after some laughs a short explanation was given as to why I, a random guy in a bar, would know a pygmy war cry.  After about 10 minutes of coaching and my friend finally told me what she was teaching my I died.  We laughed so hard.

Granted I'm not that fluent at anything really other than English.  I'm more of a hobby linguist.  And ASL isn't really a secret language and I should have been more careful with my shit talking and a bar full of lesbians, especially since you can't really whisper in that one. . . but its whatever.  Just be careful when you're talking about your 'straights' and 'bitches'.

Where I live.

It was brought to my attention, by one I refer to as "Neiman Marcus Gay", that my last post was a little Debbie downer.  So I bring you something a little more light hearted.  This came to my whilst traversing via bus being yet again the only pale face.  If you could even call me that.My bus driver had the most hideous manicure and I wish I could have taken a picture to share with all of you out there.  Long nails of all different colors with rhinestones decorating each one.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Bringing me to my topic.

I live in an interesting place.  It gets talked down on quite a bit for being ghetto.  Granted I think I have two white neighbors on my cul-de-sac and the rest are minorities.  Here's the thing though.  There is for sure an artificial lake within a mile from my house.  An artificial lake that you need a membership to gain access to.  Yeah.

Not only that but the types of cars seen at the local mall are pretty impressive.  I'm not really a car person but I can recognize high end cars when I see them.  They're really shining and have super nice tires.  Not only that but they only have two doors.  I know right?!  Red ones.  Yellow ones.

Irregardlessly.

Its like PitBull though.  These people have exorbitant amounts of money they still live here.  Like, I think if you started something they would either get out of their Lamborghini  and cut you.  Or as a Lesbian friend put it: "If I went to 7-11 with Pit Bull I'd take my keys inside with me.  Because he'd steal my car.  He doesn't need to, he just would because he could."

It brings me to my next point.  I propose the people who make tv shows should consider a Real Housewives of MoVal.  It would be pure comedy.  I mean their fashion would be off, there would most certainly be some type of animal print clothing, wedges, a weave or three, and sinful amounts of money being spent on who knows what.  It would be enough material for at least one season.  People would eat it up.  I don't watch tv, but I would consider catching an episode or two.  Maybe even buy a t-shirt, but only if it was cute.  And if it had bling on it.

Closing out today will be Miss Tracy:

Eww Awkward Post.

So, its going to be an awkward post.  On the bright side I'll going to let you reader(s) on in the inside and really open up.  Those you you reader(s) who know me in real life know this is a big deal.  Maybe because I'm sure if you are really out there and this is merely becoming a digital journal.  Regardless, here I/we go.

Now, I don't in anyway want this to serve as a ploy to fish for compliments.  Compliments, believe it of not, make me feel uncomfortable.  An ex worked hard for me to just say thank you upon receiving one.  This is an earnest post and a true and honest bearing of my heart.  You may not believe me but I promise.  With that said:

I have bad self-esteem.  I also have a horrible self-image.  I promise.  The reason for this post is mainly because of this. . . I'm getting really tired of people hitting me up and flirting with me only to find out that they are hitting heavily on my friend too.  Especially since they most likely with sleep with my friend.  I'm not really looking for sex, but don't hit on my when you're going to do my friend.  Sorry.  Or, another instance, don't make eyes with me all night and cruise on me the whole night and make out with someone else.  Especially if you're that someone else and you send my text messages all the time about how into me you are.  It gets to me.

Yeah, back to the self-esteem thing.  I may be getting hit on, that's great, but while there's the ulterior texts going out. . . You know what, I'd just rather not.  And it clearly wasn't me that is the one making out at the end of the night.  Just saying.  While I'm single I also may be accused of talking to more than one person at a time, and those accusations may be accurate.  I'm not the one clearly outlining the sexual acts I want to take place though to I don't know how many other people.  shrugs  So it wears on me that I'm: not skinny enough, not attractive enough, don't have enough muscle, that I haven't bought any new clothes recently, that I'm not smart enough, any number of things that a person is prone to feeling.

So I leave you with the thought that even I, the supposed hot, full of himself guy, struggles with a pretty bad self esteem.  That I also take a lot of things to heart.

I realize that there wasn't anything funny in this post so I'll leave you with one of my favorite videos on YouTube: