Fears, rational or not, play a part in who we are I feel. They certainly affect what we do or don't do in our daily life. Fear of drowning, fear of spiders, heights, bathing, large words, open spaces, tight spaces. . . You name it there possibly could be a fear of it. The Far Side comic even added a couple to the list: the fear that there is always a duck somewhere watching you, and the fear of being chased by timber wolves around the kitchen whist wearing socks on a newly waxed floor. I personally feel those two are perfectly rational.
I'll get down to the point. Growing old. Being alone. Ending up a failure. Those ideas strike me to the core and catch my breath in my chest. Granted growing old can't be helped. Not yet anyway. But feeling those hours, minutes, seconds tick away never to be had again. Its a lot of pressure to always be doing something productive. Days are scheduled, slots of time allotted for activities. I just feel I'm running out of time always. Even if I don't have a particular task at hand, there's always Halloween coming, getting another year older, youth slipping away, losing child bearing years. Metabolism slipping away.
Being alone is a rough one too. I have a theory of the One. I have always felt that every person has that one person they go to, that one person that is their default, that one person they always want to get lunch with. After the One the rest of the friends fall into place accordingly. Regardless of how high I might be on people's list or how high on however many lists I often times feel that I'm not anybody's one. That's hard. Especially with the slight fear of commitment I have, to open myself up and make those efforts to be the One. There's a lot of potential disappointment and hurt. And failure. Which I feel was pretty covered in the last one. A close friend and I covered the topic of marriage and talked about just the nature of that type of relationship. The best solution I felt is to abandon it altogether and to retire in a house of gays and live out the rest of your existence in the style of the Golden Girls. Clearly the best option.
I was surprised and plainly shocked to find my fear not listed in Wikipedia's list. Its very serious and not a laughing matter by any means. Also I feel its perfectly rational. The. Fear. Of. Raptors. What?! I saw the Jurassic Park movies! They're fast, can open doors, work as a pack. I don't see why more people aren't afraid of them frankly. Yup, raptors. Well, them and genital warts.
Umm. . . she fights ninja, how can you not love her? Oh and Raven did another song I'd been listening to a lot.
Umm. . . she fights ninja, how can you not love her? Oh and Raven did another song I'd been listening to a lot.
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